A Diary Of A Lifetime
by Mystrothedefender
Summary: Batman found a diary, he believes it belonged to the Joker. The contents follows. Short chapters. I'm sorry about the re-upload. Followed by the story Aftershocks.
1. The beginning of events

**I'm sorry about re-uploading this: some joker got on to my account and decided it would be funny to delete a couple of my stories. So for those of you who have me on author alert, I do apologise.**

**Re-read this if you like, this remains one of my favourite stories.**

**Please review!**

This Diary Belongs To Jack Murphy aged 10.

Dear diary,

My dog Swog died today, I got so upset that I sat on my bed and cried. Dad saw me crying and hit me, he said I needed to learn to be a man. So he's forced me to come on a camping trip with him. He says there's a riot or protest or something happening tomorrow that he wants me to see, and after he's going to teach me to shoot a gun. I hope _I _don't get shot, mum would kill me. I can't wait for tomorrow, it'll help prove to dad that I am a real man. He keeps making fun of me and calling me gay. I think he would kill me if he knew I was writing in a diary, he never wanted me to get one, I only got this one because uncle Walter sent me it from America. Uncle Walter is the bestest uncle, he always gives me what I want for my birthday and Christmas, and even though I've never met him, he phones up my dad a lot, and sometimes I get to say hello.

The only reason I can write in my diary at the moment is because dad's gone out to find a lady to play with. He knows he'll get in trouble for it, last time he played with another lady mum got real mad and tried to stab him. But he still does it anyway. I don't know if she did stab him or not, Nathan dragged me out of the room so I wouldn't see. Nathan is the bestest brother ever, I hope he's proud of me for learning how to shoot.

**I'll just note: grammatical and spelling mistakes in this are purposeful, this is supposed to be written by a child.**


	2. An unfortunate end to a nice day

17:00

Dear diary,

I'm having a really good day so far, I had bacon for breakfast. We waited at the top of a hill until almost 3, and then we watched the protests through the binoculars. Loads and loads of people came, it was amazing! I kept asking dad when we were going to go shooting, but he wouldn't tell me. It was kind of cool when we watched the people that came with parachutes who started shooting the other people with water guns, but it made my dad really angry. He set up our guns and waited until the parachute people were near enough the wall for him to shoot at. I got real confused; I didn't know we were going to shoot at people. I got really scared when he made me shoot at the men. But when I shot at one, and I got him through the head, blood spurted everywhere, and I felt really happy, seeing blood spurt everywhere made my heart beat really fast, and made me dizzy, it felt really good. I think there might be something wrong with me, because mum always says that killing and shooting things is bad. Dad has told me to get some more ammo and beer, so I thought I'd write what has happened so far today while I was here.

21:00

Dear diary,

This is the worst day I have ever had. Dad was really drunk, so when the parachute men started shooting at the crowd of people, he kept shooting, and got me to keep shooting them as well, he ran down the hill and joined the crowd of people, still shooting at the men. I got scared and followed him, but I got shot at, I didn't get hit though, but it went right through the purple hat that uncle Walter got me for Christmas last year. I started screaming, I thought I was going to die. Something hit me in the head, and next thing I knew I was laying on the floor, all the people had gone, except one woman who was standing over me, she kept asking me if I was ok. I asked her to take me home. When the car pulled up, all I could hear from the house was shouting and crying, and the nice woman said she would wait in the car for a while, encase I needed to get away to anywhere else.

It was horrible, when I went inside the house, mum was shouting at dad, because she though I was dead. When she saw me she hugged me and started crying, Nathan came and hugged me as well. But dad started shouting at mum that she was a bitch, and didn't know anything. He started shooting in the air, he fell over, but he was still shooting, and some of the bullets hit mum, and then Nathan. Then he started yelling at me that it was my fault.

Nathan and me tried to get mum to stand up so we could take her to the hospital, but she was bleeding too badly, and she wouldn't move, she said to get Nathan to the hospital and leave her behind. Nathan had been shot through the leg, so he couldn't walk very well. I dragged Nathan outside to see if the nice woman who had helped me was still there.

And thank god, she was.

I could still hear dad shouting at mum, I was worried about what he would do to her, so I tried to go back to the house, but the woman pulled Nathan and me into the car and drove off.

She took Nathan to the hospital, and they wouldn't let me see him, then this other lady told me I had to stay with her. I waited in the hospital for ages then the lady said to go with her to go to an orphanage in England, she said that I couldn't stay in Ireland because my father was too dangerous and might find me and try to hurt me. When I asked what was going to happen to Nathan, she said that he was going to another orphanage because keeping us in the same one would mean that we would be easier to find.

So at the moment I'm sitting on a ferry going to England, I have a feeling that the rest of this week is going to suck.


	3. In an orphanage

Dear diary,

I'm sorry I've not written in so long, (I think it's been about 6 months) I've just been so busy.

I was put in an orphanage, it's called Bakewell. It's really depressing, everything is grey. The children here are horrible, they make fun of me constantly because I have to use an inhaler, I got tired of it after a couple of days, so I just stopped trying, but after they realised I wasn't responding they started to beat me up. The helpers don't care that I'm being bullied, they just ignore me, I don't think they like me, but I don't know why. The school system here is terrible, I sit at the back of the class and do what I'm told, but it's too easy, I'm only 10 but I'm able to do work for a 15 year old in Maths. I'm even able to do university level work in Science, the only thing I'm bad at is English, I don't know why but I just, don't get it. Although I am making real progress now. The teachers won't help me in English, I'm having to teach myself, and they won't give me any challenging work in any other subject. Although it's kind of funny, during class I half listen to the teacher, and sort of drift off, then when the teacher asks me a question, thinking I don't know the answer, and I tell them the right answer, their face is just unbelievable. Doing that is one of the only things I can do for fun around here, all the other things I used to do for fun get me in trouble here, you can't even throw stones at cars without getting in trouble. They expect you to play with the other children to pass the time, but as I said, I don't get on with them. So at the moment I spend my time reading in the library, which is why I'm making so much progress in English.

The helpers are making me do counselling, they've said that I've not dealt with my mother's death very well. They said it's unhealthy because I've not cried since I found out she had died. I remember crying a lot before she died, but since I found out I just don't see the point anymore, it doesn't make me feel any better, it just makes me feel weak.

The counsellor is quite nice, but it's overly obvious that she only listens to anything I say because she's being paid to. All she seems to say is 'how does that make you feel?' and honestly, I'm not all that sure how it makes me feel, everything that's happened to me since me and my dad went camping, it just seems like a blur, all the days are almost blending into one. If something interesting doesn't happen soon I think I might go mad.


	4. Blood lust

Dear diary,

It happened again; when the other children beat me up this time they went a bit too far and drew blood. When I saw it my mind went all fuzzy, it felt brilliant, before I knew it I had started hitting them back, I accidentally broke one of their noses.

So I was grounded for two weeks. Which gave me some time to do some research. I've found what it's called, it's called blood lust, the Vikings famously had it, when you see blood it makes you twice as strong as normal, and makes you more skilled as a fighter. And apparently people who have it are twice as likely to be Bisexual, as they have a higher sex drive. I was surprised to find out that it had a name, but it's kind of good to know that it's not just my imagination.

Maybe I should join the army, people with blood lust do really well in the army, but I don't know if I like the idea of fuelling something that I can't control.

Although the good thing about this is that I don't think the other children will be bothering me much anymore. Ha! You should have heard them screaming when I fought back! It was the most fun I have had in months.


	5. The Napiers

Dear diary,

Oh my god, I can't believe I still have this diary, I haven't written in it in over 2 years. But the truth is, I've not had anything interesting to write until now.

I'm leaving Bakewell tomorrow; I was cleaning up my stuff to leave when I found this.

Just as a top up, not all that much has happened in the last 2 years, they gave up on my counselling, as I wouldn't tell them anything, although in my view that should have been a reason to one: try harder, or two: get a better counsellor.

As I thought, the children who bullied me didn't come near me again, in fact they were scared of me, it gave me a feeling of such power, that one action made such an impact on the way the other children viewed me.

In case you were wondering why I'm moving out of Bakewell it's because a family wants to adopt me. They're called the Napier's, they've adopted 4 other children as well, they're really nice, I was surprised that they picked me. Most people dislike me as soon as meeting me, but Mrs Napier likes me for some reason. She says that I'm interesting. Although I don't know if Mr Napier likes me.

I've been to their house, it's a massive farmhouse, they have 500 acres of land, around a hundred cattle and sheep. I think they just want free labour, that's why they've adopted so many kids. Haha.

I personally can't wait to have my own room, instead of sharing a room with several other children, half of whom keep waking up in the middle of the night screaming, it'll be nice to get a full nights sleep. Mrs Napier says I get to decorate my room, I think I'll paint it green and purple.


	6. A lovely place

Dear diary,

This place is lovely. Much nicer than the last two places I have been forced to call home. I have decorated my room, purple and green, like I wanted. The children here are lovely as well, not nearly as merciless as the Bakewell children, although they do still make fun of me for needing an inhaler, although truthfully I don't need it much anymore, I use it as more of a sympathy tool now: I have discovered that if I ask Mrs Napier for something and then take a suck from it, she's more likely to give me what I've asked for.

Oh yes, that reminds me, I'm having my name legally changed on Friday. I will no longer carry the emotional shackles of the name 'Jack Murphy' and I shall become a new man under the name of 'Jack Napier' and hopefully his life will play out better than Jack Murphy's did.

I have recently found out that my uncle Walter has been trying to get into contact with me, and has been sending me presents for my birthday and Christmas through all the years I was at Bakewell, Mrs Napier decided to tell me, she says it's my right to know, which it is. However she will not let me see or talk to him, says he's too dangerous, although she has given me all the presents that were withheld while I was at Bakewell.

Amongst the withheld presents were a trench coat, which I now almost constantly wear, and a mahogany chessboard. These two things are now my most prized possessions, kind of funny how something I have owned for only 2 days could be the things worth most to me.

Anyway, back to the Napier's. They have rather lax rules, compared to Bakewell anyway, I have to wake up at half past 6, then I have breakfast and go with the other children to help Mr Napier clean and feed the livestock, then off to school at half 8.

I had suspicions that Mr Napier didn't like me when he first met me, but it seems that I was mistaken. He took me and the other children out rabbit shooting, and seemed rather impressed at my skills, he's a keen gunman, and he's been tutoring me on how to clean, repair and maintain a gun. He's also signed me up for jujitsu classes, he say's I have lots of potential, but says I need discipline. In his opinion getting me to do a martial art will give me that.

I doing rather well at my new school, the teachers here are actually trying to help me, putting me in advanced classes and giving me extra homework. Although I think my Science teacher is unnerved by my intelligence, he seems a little scared of me.

I have decided to only write in this when I have something interesting to write, as I have gone to write in it for the past couple of days and found I have nothing to say but 'got up, had breakfast, went to school' which isn't very attractive text. I want my diary to be a little more captivating than that, so if someone were to find this and read it, maybe after I'm dead, it may be interesting enough to make a book out of, or at least they might read it to the end.


	7. Happy Birthday

Dear diary,

It was my 13th birthday today. And it was by far the best birthday I have ever had. I didn't have to help with the farm work this morning, so I was allowed an extra half an hour of sleep. At school my friends (*) bought me a cake and sang happy birthday during form, _I_ was aloud to pick the activity for P.E, and I was given the opportunity to teach my Science class, although I think my Science teacher meant that as a joke. When I got home I was seated in front of the table, which had been overloaded with presents, well overloaded may be a little bit of an overstatement (I've always been one for theatrics) there was one present from each of the other children, and two each from Mrs and Mr Napier, and also, I was happy to find, a present from uncle Walter. It had been sent to Bakewell, who had sent it to Mr Napier. It turned out to be a book, a copy of 'The Art of War'. If I didn't know better I'd say that he was spying on me, as that is the book I've been trying to find for over 2 months.

The best present I got from the children was from the girl, her name's Charley, she got me a china model of a man firing a Tommy gun, laughing his arse off. I hope I get to use a Tommy at some point in the future.

By far the best present overall was from Mr Napier. A gun of my own. A hunting rifle.

For tea was my favourite; risotto, and for pudding; banana splits. And after I got to choose what we watched on the T.V.

(*) Yes that's right, I have friends, 3 of them in fact. Named Joe, Ted and Bruce. It's good that I have them as friends, good contacts for later in life, as they are all from rich familys.


	8. Charley Napier

Dear diary,

I have been spending a lot of time with Charley since my birthday. Apparently she got the idea of getting me that model from the drawings of guns I have over all my books, rather smart of her I thought. The rest of this family are idiots, nice I give you that, but kindness is no replacement for intelligence. I really like Charley, she's really funny, and, more importantly, she thinks I'm funny. I've already had my first kiss with her, about a week ago. But what is annoying about us wanting to be together is that it's practically forbidden; we're technically brother and sister. Until we're old enough to move out we'll have to keep it quiet. Although it should be relatively easy as our rooms are right next to each other.

I told her about my blood lust, I've not told anyone apart from her. She seemed fine with it, but I don't know if she believed me.

My jujitsu lessons are going really well, although my teacher says I'm still undisciplined, I've managed to master every task I've been given. I'm much better at it than I ever was at P.E.

I joined a gun club a little while ago, I'm so skilled I have been entered in a county competition, which takes place next Friday. I hope I win, if I do then I go through to the regional championships.

I hope to get so good at gun slinging and martial arts that I can kick a mans head off and shoot it before it hits the ground. That would be a neat party trick.


	9. Firsts

Dear diary,

Oh what's that? Is there something different about me I hear you asking? Well there might be… Take a wild guess!

Well, since you asked, and I don't know if you guessed correctly, I may have just had the best night of my entire life.

Charley and me had the house all to ourselves tonight, as we do every other Thursday. Only this time we decided to take things a 'little further' that the usual kissing sessions and movie marathons. In all fairness _I_ would have liked to do it a lot sooner, but I'm not one to pressure.

It was great, not amazing but I wouldn't turn my nose up at it, I don't know anyone that would. Even though it was nowhere near as good as all that's speculated, but… wow.

It was a first time for both of us, _losing my virginity at 14 1/2? Couldn't be much happier!_ I can't wait to tell the guys at school. Although I doubt they'll believe me, because I can't tell them who the girl was, we're still having to keep things hushed.

On a different note, I have noticed something rather disturbing about Mr Napier. Whenever any of the girls ask him for something, it they push their breasts together while asking, he will almost certainly give them it. Yesterday one of them asked to stay round their boyfriend's house for a night and he said yes, now I wouldn't object to this, but I asked him if I could stay round Joe's house last weekend and he said no. Do you not see how that's wrong? A 13 girl staying over at her 17-year-old boyfriends house is fine, but a 14-year-old boy staying at his friend's house is not?

Oh yeah, I found out yesterday that my uncle Walter has been trying to track me down. According to Bakewell he has been calling, sending letters and actually sent someone to talk to them. I don't know why he's suddenly trying to find out where I am. And I don't know why I'm not aloud to see or talk to him, I can't see how he can be that bad of a person, especially if compared to my bastard of a father. At least uncle Walter gives me presents for my birthday.


	10. Turn of events

Dear diary,

That Charley is such a bitch! A week after my 15th birthday, she tells me its over? She says that I've been acting differently lately, 'cold-hearted' according to her! Then she starts shouting that I'm bad in bed? Don't do enough for her? Maybe if she'd told me that before now it wouldn't have been shouted across the house! That bitch! So much for keeping it quiet! It's been two years! Two years of my life wasted on her! Sneaking about and lying! Mr Napier started shouting at us. She starts crying, suddenly she's the victim? She's the one who started this whole thing. I _knew _it was a bad idea! But I did it anyway. And for what? Quick shag once or twice a week?

I've been kicked out of the only place I have ever called a home because of her, I left yelling threats over my shoulder. In such a rage I didn't think what I might do for shelter tonight, I just threw my possessions in a bag and left. Luckily I have around £70 of my birthday money in my wallet that I haven't spent yet, so I can afford to rent a room for the night, I think I'll go back tomorrow, when the heats died down.


	11. Burned

Dear diary,

… I don't know where to start writing about today…

I'm back in Bakewell. Although I don't plan to stay here very long.

I went back to the Napier's farmhouse, as I said I would, and found that everything was burned. I asked what had happened, they said arson, and no one had gotten out. I broke down, my mind just stopped. The police took me, said I was a suspect, but I don't know why, I wouldn't do that, they were my family. They started asking me questions, stupid questions, but I wouldn't answer, I couldn't answer. My mouth wasn't working, it was like I wasn't me, I was watching myself but I couldn't control myself. Even if I could answer I wouldn't have, the police had it stuck in their heads that I _was_ the one started the fire, undoubtedly. Nothing I could have said would have convinced them otherwise. I was kept there for several hours, trapped in that tiny room, with nothing but my thoughts. I came to the conclusion that there was nothing I could have done, I should be thankful that I wasn't there, as I would have been burned too.

I was let out once the police received word that I had stayed at the hotel last night, and I hadn't left my room all night. They carted me off to Bakewell, not a word of apology.

When I got to Bakewell all I got were comments about 'how much I've grown' or 'I've changed since they last saw me'. I have grown, and changed, from a naive 4 ft boy into a fully-grown 6ft almost-man. I was put in my old room, old bed. Some of the same children were there as well, didn't say anything to me, or I to them, they just tried not to look me in the eyes. Maybe they're being courteous, maybe they're scared of me.

I had to have a medical check before I was aloud to settle, the nurse said I'm in shock, obviously, which would explain why I wasn't talking. And she said I was a little too thin 'lanky' was her choice of words. Apart from that I'm in peak physical condition. Hooray for me.

I'm not staying here for long, I'm going to find the letters from uncle Walter, find out why he's trying to get into contact with me, find out where he is if I can, and, somehow, get to him. I'm not staying here that's for sure, I'm not going to be put with another family.

Something I've learnt today: bad things will happen to the people you care about, so it's best not to get attached.


	12. Going away

Dear diary,

Well. No need to find the letters now. One of uncle Walters 'associates' came to get me. I'm almost certain he's the one who started the fire at the Napier's. Get me to a place where guns wouldn't be used against him. This man, Jerry, practically broke into Bakewell, yelling at the helpers that they had no right to keep me away from my family, I said that I wanted to go, and they let me, apparently what they did, hiding me from family members, is technically illegal if I don't want to be hidden.

Jerry is an odd man; he even looks like a rat, not at all trustworthy. But I'll go with him if it'll get me away from that horrible place.

I'm on the aeroplane to America. I don't know if I'll like it there or not, from what I've heard about it I probably won't, but once I'm older and rich I can just go back to England.


	13. Gotham

Dear diary,

As I thought, I don't like America. Everything is too big, (compensating?) and it smells weird. The waters horrible, tastes of egg, dangerous to drink, for me anyway. The people are rude, apart from the cashiers at shops, who are overly friendly, they all lie, they're either overweight or underweight. It's bloody weird here.

Jerry has brought me to Gotham, horrible, dank place. Rife with disease and crime.

But that's only the lower levels. The upper levels of Gotham revel in luxury, balls held every week, charity fundraisers every other. In one of the shops I saw a jar of marmalade for $10,000.

What confuses me is that the higher class have charity events so often, but none of the money seems to reach the lower classes.

The class divide here is overemphasised, it's like being in London in the Victorian period. There only seems to be lower classes and upper classes, no middle ground.

I met my uncle Walter. I really like him. He makes a lot of sense. He looks quite a lot like me, his voice is terrible though. His accent is a hybrid of Yorkshire and southern. It sounds just awful.

A mob man if I ever saw one. Everything from the cigar to the coat. I can see why the authorities saw him unfit to raise me.

Although thanks to him, I may finally get to accomplish my dream of using a Tommy gun; he has a large array of guns from different periods of time. I plan to continue my weapons training here, I'd like to continue Jujitsu if I can, although I don't know how I'd play for classes. That's if I can find a class that will take me.


	14. Mob

Dear diary,

Uncle Walter is such a nice man! He started showing me the 'tricks of the trade', he gives 10% of the profits he makes to charities. Which really surprised me. He paid for me to have jujitsu classes, which I was promptly expelled from. I told an off colour joke, the one about the man in the hospital, the instructor flipped out, said I was disrespectful and that I shouldn't come back. People don't get it. You make a joke, others laugh, that's how it's supposed to work. But no, people get offended. Either everything's funny or nothings funny, you cannot limit the jokes you tell because they will offend people, everyone gets offended by something, so if you did that you would have no jokes to tell.

The 'circle', as uncle Walter calls them, uncle Walters gang members, are also really nice –to people they respect anyway- apart from one of them, named Boom, he's crazy in so many ways, to the extent of him eating metal… _I'm_ not exactly sane but I'm not that mad!

I try not to talk in front of them; one wrong word and they would do worse than kill me, though of course they would never actually _kill _me, as I'm related to their boss. But there are worse things than death. I don't plan to experience any of them.

I've started school here, uncle Walter said it's not essential, but I want to finish my school life, and get as many qualifications as I can, I'll need them for my future right?


	15. A girl at school

Dear diary,

I'm a little confused: I was working with Jona; he's Uncle Walters second in command. And he said something rather odd to me, I'm almost certain he was hitting on me. He is rather pretty; he's got large deep brown eyes and a lovely smile. He's 23? I think? I'm not entirely sure what to do about this, after all if I were to do it and we got found out, the only one to get in trouble would be him. But there's this girl, at school, who I've liked for quite a while, her name's Jeannie. We're friends at the moment, we sit together in Science, I help her out best I can, she's not as smart as me, of course, but she's… Beautiful. Blond, blue eyes, and a voice… Oh that voice… More beautiful than an angels. And even more astounding, she laughs at my jokes, and laughs at _me, _I'm not used to that. Most people in my school are scared of me; they see me as the quiet weirdo who it would be best not to talk to. She even laughs at jokes that normally only I find funny, I told her the one about the 2 lunatics, one of my favorites, and she started laughing before I did. During class, when the teacher's talking, I write knock knock jokes on little bits of paper to try to make her laugh and get her into trouble. She's easily the best friend I have ever had, she understands me more than anyone else ever has. I think she might like me too, but I'm not sure.

But I have a small problem. I'd love to go out with Jeannie, I really would, but I'm sure I would kick myself if I entered a serious relationship – as that's what I would intend with Jeannie – before I had more experience. She plans to go to college; I think I'd go just to be with her.

You know what. I think I've decided. Until Jeannie and I start going out, and it's made official, I'll try things with other people, short term, I don't want to get into a relationship with her then wreck it by cheating because I feel unfulfilled, knowing me I would, I can feel my want for deviation throbbing at the back of my scull, I need to get that out of my system before I'm ready. She doesn't need to know about it, it'll just upset her. What she doesn't know can't hurt her.


	16. A small blip

Dear diary,

I'm at college now, studying politics, a 2-year course. It all seems like shit to me, seems to me we'd do better with no government at all. I'm still not going out with Jeannie, although now I'm sure she likes me '_like that_', but there's a bit of a problem. At the moment I'm seeing a ginger boy, a year or so younger than me. He's quite nice. Jona, by the way, was just a one-night kind of thing; I was too 'fragile' for him. What did he expect? It was my first time with another man, he can't just expect to go all in straight away. But it was good, really good, since then I've been with a mix of men and women, which is where the problem comes into play. Jeannie… found out… about one of the men I temporarily went out with, I had to tell her that I was bisexual, I didn't really want to tell her, I was afraid she'd judge me on it. Which she has, she's not been talking to me as much lately, I've been trying to start conversations with her, I think it's worrying her, maybe she just doesn't understand?

I'll have to talk to her. Maybe now's time?


	17. Jeannie

Dear diary,

Jeannie and me are going out. Have been for around 2 weeks now. Finally! And, I've got to tell you, I've never been happier. I'm happy to just sit with her. I've been coveting her for so long, it's brilliant to finally have her. You know what? I think I was wrong about needing more experience, that thing at the back of my head, it disappeared once I started going out with her. Maybe it wasn't me wanting variety, but me wanting stability? That got me thinking, maybe that's all I need. The mob? That's not stable. Maybe I need a proper 9 – 5 job.

I've talked about it with Jeannie, she seems to think the best thing to do would be to sever ties with uncle Walter after I've finished college and have got a job good enough to support myself. I kind of agree with her, he's not a good influence on my life, but I don't know if I'd been able to never see or talk to him again. He's been a big part of my life, and What about Jona? I know we didn't go out for very long, but he's my friend. I can't just… cut them out of my life.


	18. Love

Dear diary,

My god, I love being in love, it consumes you, I'm not sure how to describe it, the best way I can think of describing it is saying that it makes me feel as if I'm going to vomit a rainbow. Now I know that that's terrible imagery but it's the only thing I can think of. Jeannie and me have been going out for nearly a year. Things are going really well, so well in fact, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I never thought I'd meet a girl I love so much I would ask her to marry me. I'm saving up to buy her a ring; I'm doing extra time with uncle Walter to save up. I'm waiting till our one-year anniversary; I'm taking her out to a nice place. Cliché I know, but she's all for typical romantic actions, chocolates flowers and all that.


	19. Yes

Dear diary,

She said yes! She took a little bit of persuasion, she said we're too young to get married, which we are, I told her that I don't think we should actually get married till we're at least out of college, I just wanted to show her that I would commit. So yes. I am officially engaged now. I'm going to start putting any spare money I have into a savings account, so, when the time finally comes, I can pay for the amazing and extravagant wedding that I know she wants. I'm so happy. I can't stop smiling.

I can't stop imagining what our future will be like, how many children will we have, where will we live, what'll my job be? I feel as if I'm getting carried away with myself, but I can't help it.


	20. After college

Dear diary,

Graduation day. Yay. I passed everything with flying colours, as I knew I would. Me, Jeannie, Jona, and a few of my other friends from school went out for pizza to celebrate. I'm taking Jeannie out for a surprise meal this evening, and then I've booked us in at a romantic hotel for the night. It's a surprise, she doesn't know yet. I've already packed an overnight bag for her, all new clothes, including a top I know she's wanted for a while.

I've already got a job lined up, a proper job. Of course uncle Walter has said if I need to make some extra money he always has some work going, but I'd really rather not get back into that. The job I've got is at the chemical plant down the road, basic lifting and carrying stuff, it pays well for what it is, maybe it has some hidden chance of health problems or something? I should probably look into that, don't want to get cancer or anything.

I've also got an apartment set up for me and Jeannie, oh yeah that's right, I'm moving in with Jeannie. We're moving in after my job starts next week. It's a really nice little place: one bed one bath, first floor, in a nice-ish part of town.

Things are starting to look pretty good for me aren't they?


	21. Uncle Walter

Dear diary,

Uncle Walter passed away, his funeral was today. He had a heart attack while on a job. Kind of serves him right though, the way he ate I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner. It would explain why he felt too ill to come out for pizza with me and the other guys. The fact that it happened on the job has caused some distress; once the police realised it was him who was behind the recent disturbances and crimes in the neighbourhood they came and searched our house, now I get why he ordered me not to write much about work in this or bring home anything that could be connected with the mob, but obviously I had mentioned his work in this, so they had to take me in for questioning. But eventually they let me go, as they didn't have any evidence to show that I was actually involved with any crimes, and any evidence they do have is from when I was a minor, so they can't convict me of anything. The fact that uncle Walter has passed means that now Jona is the leader of our little circle, he plans to make a couple of changes to the way things are run, though one of uncle Walters last requests was for him not to change the charity thing that he's set up, so I guess that's one of the things he can't change.


	22. Tomorrow!

Dear diary,

I'm getting married tomorrow! The last few years have just been bliss. I'm doing well at work, so well in fact that I got a three-dollar pay rise. The apartment is now fully furnished, really lovely. The only bad thing that happened was that I got into my first and only fight with Jeannie, she found this and read through it, then started moaning that I'd not told her about my 'horrible past', and then she got all annoyed about me seeing so many other people before we started going out, she only knew about one other women, that ginger boy and Jona. She asked if I had cheated, she'd stopped reading before the pages where I professed my love for her. I became really angry at the allegation, said things in the spur of the moment that I didn't mean, she ended up shouting that she was going to read through the rest of the diary to see 'what other mean things I had written' about her. She then came back about half an hour later saying how much she loved me, and how sorry she was.

But that's in the past.

Jeannie has got everything planned out for tomorrow, white dress for her, black tux for me, and she's permitted me to wear my purple hat, as a sign of respect to uncle Walter and small thank you to him for bringing me here. Her dress is gorgeous, I know I'm not supposed to have seen it, but I just had to peek, it's supposed to be bad luck but it can't really do any harm can it? She'll look beautiful in it, it's one of those long flowing dresses that look as if their made of air – although I know it probably weighs about 50 lbs – I can't wait to see her in it, and more so can't wait to get her out of it tomorrow night. Haha. She's being all traditional and insisting she stays at her mum's tonight, and has insisted that we mustn't have sex again till our wedding night; the first time she said that was 2 weeks ago. So you can probably imagine how I'm feeling right now…

She's arranged, and I've paid, for a horse and carriage to pick her up from her mum's tomorrow morning, and an old golden soft-top Cadillac –the same as my first car – to pick me up tomorrow and take us to the church, the one in the centre of town, we've got friends, family, colleagues invited, we've written our own vows, then after the ceremony we've paid for a lovely little hall near the river, then we leave for a two week honeymoon in Italy. Hopefully soon after that we'll start trying to have children, but that's really Jeannie's choice.


	23. Job

Dear diary,

I've quit my job, I just wasn't happy there, Jeannie says I've become more withdrawn lately. It started when we got a new floor manager a few months ago, he started harassing me because I'm Irish, then the other employees started as well, I'm not entirely sure why. My workload and hours were increased, I started to feel a little overwhelmed, I started to loose my temper really easily. So I've been advised to pursue a career I would _like_ to have, I've always wanted to be a comedian, it would just be for a little while. There's a nice little comedy club down the road that I'm going to try out with. The job markets pretty bad at the moment, but it should start to pick up soon, we have enough in our savings to last until I can get a proper job again.


	24. Baby

Dear diary,

Jeannie's pregnant! We went to the ultrasound today, it was amazing, I saw the heartbeat of my little baby, I hope it's a boy. They say at the next ultrasound they'll be able to tell us the sex, they also said that if we want they'll print off pictures of the baby for us. I'm going to get one to put in my wallet. It's amazing how happy seeing that little speck on that computer screen made me. It's amazing how much love someone can feel for something that has only just come into existence.

It's just a shame that it's come at such a harsh time: I've still not been able to find a job. And our savings are running low. Jona says he can give us a loan so we can buy the baby some stuff, and he said he has some contacts that need more manpower, if I need work. I'd rather not go back to work for the mob, but if I can't find any other work and I'm desperate then what choice do I have?

Jeannie's totally against it though.

We're going to have to find a larger flat too, this little place won't hold 3 people, and the lady who we rent from has loads of cats; it's dangerous to have cats in the same house a pregnant woman; some bacteria they carry is harmful and can cause miscarriages. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to that baby.

That woman doesn't even like me anyway.


	25. Necessary

Dear diary,

Baby's due mid next month, it's a boy just like I wanted. We've not thought of a name yet, I guess we'll wait and see what suits him. Jona's lone has helped a lot, we've bought all the things the baby will need. We've exhausted all our savings and I've run out of options. Jona got me a meeting with his contacts, last night, I went and talked to them, said I really didn't want to do this but I had no choice. They told me it was ok, I'd just be showing them where to go. The amount they're paying me is a bit over extravagant, but I guess that's coz Jona sent me, he's quite high ranking in 'mob society', I'm not complaining though, the more I get the better. With the amount they're giving us we could afford to move into a new flat and live there for a year or so.


	26. The end

Dear diary,

… I don't know… What am I going to do?… I can't believe it…

Jeannie's dead.

So's the baby.

I went to do the job.

Everything's turned to shit.

Policeman told me there'd been a fire.

Everything's been destroyed.

They said I had to continue.

Felt like killing myself.

I went, wore their mask.

I could hardly see.

Suddenly we heard guns.

They started shouting that I was their leader.

The Bat.

Started chasing me.

I tried to explain what had happened.

I couldn't get my mask off.

He tripped me.

I fell into the acid.

I feel like my skin is burning.

My face.

My eyes are bleeding.

Why does this keep happening?

Why does everyone I love die?

Quite funny.

If you think about it.

**I hope you enjoyed reading/re-reading this story. It's my favourite one.**

**Please leave me a review. (Due to the story being deleted, I've lost all the old ones. ): So sad)**


End file.
